When the new year come, i've always been so excited. The first person who got a birthday from all of my family member is me. I feel so excited when March touch the end, and enjoy the 1st of April because i know it's my birthday on 3rd. This year is different. Many plans, big plans. As a human i sometime expected dreams come true by the time. So far, in my 27 years of my life i've been blessed by different type of art how to get them. One thing i realized, i've always works in the circle of my deepest passion, arts.
It's not a s simply as i can visualized the dreams in my every work activity. It takes time to be able to have your own chair, that no one will ever touch. I change so many things, about my perception of everything. Life isn't something you can predict, but you are allow to create.
A process i've been through is pages of street education book. Wildly choosing what i want to be is really one of the top wish lists i've been succeed so far..., i expected nothing but making myself happy. Working under myself is became something i will never change. And from there i always stand up myself, alive...
I found different type of rubbish politics on my working life. Meeting people from different kind of profession, from the capable one to 'so wrong' one. Mostly available for asswiping their boss's. The right one is become alien they really need to destroy, the asswiper stay and keep their head down shoe gazing their boss's branded shoes.
There are attitudes i need to stood up, because there are real bad people out there. Where money is their only tool to buy the happiness, all pure soul, creativity, inspiring human being, colorful tasty thoughts, all no longer important but money. Friends, relationship, clients, all become disaster when relates to 'cheat for money'.
I've seen a freak show..., type of freak show that never even passed through my mind. The blue dragon is just a huge costume with robots inside, the nice girl with boots that love to share dreams is just the 'it' girl that will do any type of lies dream for another pair of boots, and many other creatures, and i don't like... I took that working at a freak show as experience of knowing type of human being while creating and concept-ing ideas, what a hard hard doubled job. Inspires them with a little bit of my world is not easy. They sometime play around to grab my world, and they even steals my world without letting me know. It's so normal for them, steals?
And many times i keep on asking, why do they have to relates all things on earth as a dirty business? How come the art of life become so absurdly change into the art of dirty business for a better future? Oh well, at least i fought for my rights, for my creativity process, and i didn't get disease :D, the disease of human turn into a dog.
But besides all those story part of pages using recycle paper, i've seen something real too, real love, real happiness. Where i have to work with all my passion where clients share his wish lists and i cook it into special dish. Where i only creates and my team supports. Where politics only can be seen where i turn on channel no 8.
For all the bless i've got in my 27 year of me being alive, i know there are monsters from anywhere will suddenly kick my ass. But i believe, i've always be a true human, with any paints spreads in my blood, i rejected the earth evil's slaves. I would be an army if i were a boy, i shoot the bad down on the right centre of the forehead, hahaha daddy's daughter :) But i'm just an ordinary human with many dreams, i just don't wanna stop dreaming and nothing can stop it. I paint my own way of living, i don't let strangers kept it away or doubting me doing it.
Friends. The meaning of friend is never change. But in reality it can changes. How come a best friend become friend and suddenly stranger. How come stranger become best friend forever. How come best friend become friend become best friend again and become best friend forever and ever. People just come and go, but this word 'friend' is one of main ingredients in my life.
Expectation, is the thing i learn to make it balance, half blue half peach, if there's black glittery sparkle blended inside the blue, i only need adding some cherry beads made by crystal. I just want to keep my dreams going through the rainbow i've imagine, and i will screams wildly for unpredicted surprises on the rainbow way. Btw, the rainbow in my imagination is type of rainbow that shines with more and more colors, more than the color exists on tattoo ink palette, full gradation instead. With bare eyes you might see about 27 colors, you need 3d sunglasses to count one by one :D. There are remotes on each color layers, so i can mix and match the glowing saturation. Don't forget tiny bugs, around the way, the good and the bad one, they are all my friends.
And this is one is a story about one of my journey as a happy Aries girl, a birthday girl...
I picked 'pink' rainbow layer in my dream... But...,
Sunday, April 1st, 2012
I just had tight schedule on my laptop's calendar tab. Last nite was on shooting for making trailer for this high school musical type of movie. I got home at 2.15 am. I woke up at 9, my eyes still blur, but i gotta prepare my old clothes for a fun bazaar at Kemang. In the same day i have this appointment with my bff Febby (she's my friend since i was 16y/o), we are about to have a pre wedding photo session for her and her future husband Bei. This schedule suppose to be yesterday, but the job came in sudden so we reschedule it today. Thank God i have Hanna and she'll take care some part of my jobs, many parts actually :D
The photo shoot goes well even though rains and sky came a little bit earlier than my thoughts. It feels so good to see my best friend happy and about to reach a new page of life, blank clean paper and i still wanna be one of her paint. She slept over in my place, i'm at the sofa and she's on the couch.
Monday, April 2nd, 2012
Tomorrow is my birthday. Imunk must be buying something while i'm away. I have 2 schedule for today with Hanna.
My morning meeting was a total wrong meeting. The place was far and wasted. We all know Jakarta won't allow us to have 3 meeting in the same day in different places. So i'm hoping all the meeting went smooth. The morning meeting was a job offer to me, i thought they're the one who invited me so it means they know me or at least my background as i'm a happy freelancer. I thought it was just a normal job offer i usually got.
Days before, they asking me something i've never expect, they said can you send your CV? I was paused for a while but she said it's just a procedure, so i browse through my old emails, and i found this CV and my age there still 23y/0. Change the age and send it away. When i arrived there, something is not right i said to Hanna. Why the situation seems like i'm the one who's badly looking for a job. Oh nooo, if i look for a job, a 'full time' job, my assistant won't exist.
I was shock and suddenly think that not everybody doing their job correctly, a human resources development isn't a simple job as hiring random 'cool' people to come without knowing the background, without knowing is your company will be able to hire every single person they've called. For me, it is so much wasting me time and i don't even asked any of my employee to fill up an enrollment to work with me, and now i see it in front of my eyes, what a funny day.
I left the first weird meeting and i straight go to find ONLYi's fabrics to Tanah Abang Market and almost all the shop there closed, at 3pm. I was so hungry so i go the the food court floor, and i only found this Bakso Shop left open.
I just wanna go home..., and when i got home Imunk is away to accompany his sister to buy dvd for his nephews. I continue my day working on Febby's prewed pictures. Imunk came bring nothing, not even dinner, he was busy telling me story about this Tarantula breeder who's gonna sell all of his Tarantula collection because his future wife hates Tarantula -_- ohh...
Suddenly my little sister called and tell me that she's been sexual abuse by one of her friend, and i was shock and mad and angry and whyyyy....... :'(
I called my elder sister, i told Imunk, and no one care about her but me... And i planned to kick my lil sister friend ass to the hell.
Waiting for my birthday and i was so hardly stand my eyes open and go to bed an hour before the 2nd turn into the 3rd...
Tuesday, April 3rd, 2012
"Happy Birthday!", from everywhere and many people, through phone calls, sms, twitter, etc. I woke up at 9am and no present and Imunk is just normal saying he's gonna buy the present later. Here we go, the birthday girl drama queen of the day is born...
I'm so excited on my 28th birthday, but why i felt so empty, i felt something is suppose to be better than just laying around on the couch doing nothing (as i let myself off work, no touching laptop). I even have a nap that day, i want to cook but there were plenty interesting vegetables, just carrots and few frozen meats. I cooked anyway, because i think Imunk is sleepy and have no plan to buy me lunch.
I feel so boring, and i think i turns to a real bad mood feelings. Imunk asked me to go here and there, i don't want to. I just want him to at least prepare my birthday dinner or just a simple present in the morning. Time goes by, until 8pm... Imnk asked me to have a dinner at Blue Grass near the apartment. I said no. And he said..., everybody is waiting there, don't be mad, it suppose to be a great surprise party but your little sister ruined it because she came late and it makes your mood goes even worst, and i preferred tell you this so you will come with me to Blue Grass. So i said, okay..., but seriously i don't feel happy. I don't like crowded place, and i hate going to a new place when my heart gloom.
I got there, and everyone's face was scared of me, and i saw 2 strangers i don't know sat in front of my face, and i don't feel like having a strangers on my boring birthday party. And they are my little sister's friend. I really don't understand why and what that was, a surprise party? I don't need a surprise party, i want simple birthday, a happy birthday.
I was so pissed of to see my little sister, my friend said the plan suppose to be excellent if she's not coming late. You know how boring i was since i woke up, and i expected something, something that i deserve to get it today, only today, on my birthday...
I feel like in the Osbourne Family, where my boyfriend and my friend plan a surprise party the the sister just ruined it without knowing how important this party for me, for Imunk and for all of my friends. Especially when she suppose to be the main actor on this surprise party plan. Imunk and all my friend were expecting me to be 'ok'. But i just couldn't stand my self to be calm. I had a bad day since yesterday. If there were no her friends on my birthday, i would laugh at Imunk and my friends because of the unsuccessful surprise party :D, but i just expecting more than just a party with friends...
So, the sexual abuse is a story, and it was actually making my nite before birthday worst. I go back straight home after the spooky dinner. I remember, my birthday cake was so beautiful, i blow the candles without wishing, because my wish isn't come true tonite. I don't even let my camera captured any moment there. I was mad to my little sister, because i couldn't set my mind to let go this question about her, 'why r u doing this to me? why you never come on time? why can't you be a serious participant for someone else's plan? just for one time, just for my birthday if you came an hour before the due time, i think i will be having a type of fairy tale story on my memory pages'.
I was crying..., i told Imunk, i just want you to give me a present, a present that we really want it. I took my pillows and my tears needs more than tissue to hold on. I said i hated my day, my birthday, i just want a present and we spend today going to buy things i like, have a sweet lunch waiting for a wild dinner and skip the diet. I want romantic teen movie type of happiness for my birthday... I want a ring... :'(, i said.
Imunk said..., "To make you feel bad since yesterday, it was part of the plan, i'm going to propose you with my choice of story, not yours. It's just 1 thing went wrong, but you still can decide the ending you wanted. Here i bought you the ring already, i'm about to propose you in front of everybody, i'm about to embarrassed myself in front of everyone in a place you won't like, for once in a life, i want you, your friends, our friends, and also one of your family there with me celebrating our happy day and your birthday. No matter how the story went a little bit wrong, but it never failed because you will make your own ending, happy ending..."
I saw a box of ring, just like in my dream, exactly the same. I can't believe it's happening. The day that all girls will be proud to be asked as a wife... :) I cried so much, he open the box because i suddenly don't know how to let the white ribbons off the turquoise box. This is what i've been waiting for, since my vacation to Singapore with him, since our Bali trip, and i thought 'it' will never shows today April 3rd, on my birthday...
The ring is 'something' i've been waiting for, since i woke up in the morning, on my boring lunch and my disaster dinner party. I got it here a t the apartment, with ugly face full of tears, near my messy wardrobe...
He said..., "I told you i will give u a present, but it's just a story i want to create, and if it didn't work, you suppose to remember that i don't like high school romantic type of movie. I love horror and slasher movie :), it's okay for you to be mad at me because i couldn't give u a cure by making you feel so boring and sucks whole day and the cure fell down because the surprise party went a bit different as my master plan. The thing is, will you spend the rest of your life just with me...:)"
My feeling were mixed up. I'm confused, sad, but happy. I wish my sister came late was also part of the plan. But surfing through my super colorful rainbow isn't always what i want, there are bugs, the bad and the good, my friends, and i let them taste my rainbow because i wanted them to be part of my journey.
My little naughty sister, my friends, and Imunk, thanks for giving me a true different kind of fairy tale of my birthday and my happy day. This is the story i will remember for the rest of my life, the story i will share to my grand child. The proposal day isn't always have to be as pink as roses, it can be very dusty pink but it is still pink... :)
I learn so many things on my April 3rd 2012, a story i've never expected, i'll never forget, and i think i kinda like the story :)
The ring, give me an express happy energy. It's classic, it's a beautiful ring, i love you Imunk :)
Wednesday, April 4th, 2012
I woke up with bunch of happiness. Me and Imunk was laughing repeating story about last nite. I'm the birthday girl who turned into a crazy drama queen wishing so much about the ring from the king. I expected a simple ring, even if it's made of roots, i wouldn't mind :). But after all the thing is i got a must wear 'ring' on my left hand, joins the rings from dad and the bracelets from best friends, i'll wear it everyday to keep my energy alive...
Imunk asked me out Lunch, i want Penang Bistro at Oakwood Kuningan, i don't know why i wanna go there, maybe because the furniture there is soft purple hahahaha, so random :p. But when we got there on Lunch time so it's full booked. We decided to buy sushi and drinks from Ranch Market downstairs, and buy a grande cup of Javachips Frapp from Starbucks finally after few months fight myself not to buy any of Starbucks products for the sake of diet. And we eat and drink and laugh inside the car.
I told Imunk i want to buy a present with you, i want Thomas Sabo bracelet, i want Imunk to pick the charms, for our future wedding :), i'm so full of love that day. We went to Plaza Indonesia and go straight to the store, imunk pick me the yellow thunder and my fave clove for our luck. The clove remind us of a picture on my zippo :'D. Plan to get a clove tattoo too... Imunk choose a black charm bracelet the classic one just like the i've got from Constance and Chris.
Then we pass this flower shop, and i asked Imunk to pick one for me :) He actually pick a yellow rose but i offer him the multicolor one, yellow reddish rose hahahaha, he said why sud i pick one then? hihihihihi... it still yellow though. We had lunch at Ten Ten, Imunk's fave ramen place..., i'm so so so much happy... and i cries, this time is really tears of joy :*
We got back home and have a beer time with some of my friends at nite, i ate my super cool cake that i doubted yesterday, and it's really delicious..., sorry 'cake' for not eating you on my birthday :')
Thursday, April 5th, 2012
This is a history of my life, and i want to keep and wrap it up nicely into a golden book, and i'll share this beautiful story to my child and my grand child. And i hope you all can feel the happiness as i am now..., not every story in our dreams created by ourselves, once i let other creatures feels my rainbow..., let them fulfill my rainbows with their unique character, they're all my bugs :) my lovely bugs, my friends...
I am writing this now and really love to share some of the pictures..., i hope you all have your own version of having a birthday and get proposed :)
Happy 28th Birthday myself..., let's paint the world with love...
Thank you God :)
- April Luv Recipe -
1. My Golden Love. /// 2. 'The Ring' that needs 2 gallons of my tears to get it :) /// 3. On my finger :) /// 4. For the first time Imunk give me a very romantic card, mostly he just bought and wrote nothing, just blank. But this time i feel so happy teary reading his ugly hand writing, only i can read that now, secret :) /// 5. Lovely Thomas Sabo packaging. /// 6. The charms from Imunk. /// 7. The Yellow reddish rose. /// 8. The Rainbow Cake. /// 9. Part of the cake i like... /// 10. 'The Ring' with rings from Daddy united :) /// 11. The bracelet from Imunk and from Cons & Chris. /// 12. The sushi to hold our stomach ;) /// 13. Imunk found Ovaltine in a box at Ranch market. /// 14. Imunk's fave Pringles in new extreme flavor. /// 15. Ten ten ramen. /// 16. Starbucks after few months... :) /// 17. Latte at Ten ten. /// 18. Happy princess :'D