mind's out.


I woke up this morning. Thinking about some problems that loves me so much lately. I know problems always come. Anytime, anywhere and never expect any of it. I tried so many times to let it flow, doing my way to fix it. But, this one problem i don't know yet to fix is the problem to pretend myself not to hate so much people who made problems to me. Sometimes, it works, just to pretend everything is fine, everything is under control, then..., the problems is over, from the outside, not the inside. It seems, there's someone else live inside my heart. Feels like there are more than 1 creature inside my heart. It keep on kicking my heart every time i inhale exhale my breath. It says, it's not okay, it's not right. But..., if i say the truth, everything will be miserable. It's like i just found something that is really complicated about being alive.

I put so many faith for my 'everyday'. I want to live in a quiet place, where there are so many plants and sheep. Where all flowers are free to be picked. And couple best friends indeed.

January always tells. The people from last year will never stay the same this year. People i thought they are cool, in fact they're as warm as the morning human's shit.

So one time, i do want to escape.
Just for a while.

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